i feel like my heart is breaking but i don't understand it. if only things weren't so complicated. why does it feel like this? i can not comprehend this feeling. i know i'm an emotional person and i love giving love and receiving it. but, i just cannot comprehend this kind of love that you give to another, the one that you would potentially call your "significant other". its unfathomable for me. i dont understand it. or maybe i refuse to understand it. i'm so used to being single forever that i am not able to comprehend having another person "attached" to me. its a mixture of different feelings, of happiness and sadness at the same time; of elation and frustration. maybe, i would understand it soon, when i find the "right one" as they call them. only time can tell. right now, its confusing for me.
Wednesday, June 18, 2008
Tuesday, June 17, 2008
...frustrations and vacations...
living....
i am a bit frustrated today. i think its because of my being moody lately. i'm kind of getting restless again. i want to get out. i feel so confined. i feel like all eyes are on me (even though this is not true!). i think i'm a bit pressured now. or i'm just getting tired with what seems like routine for me already. i cant talk to our customers easily lately because i'm afraid of what i might say. i'm kind of getting sarcastic again. i take offense to even small things that are being said. although, i am still trying to be calm and collected. i have to because i might hurt someone or our store if i don't do that. i might react in a big way to petty frustrations and that's no good.
i want to do different things already but i am tied down to my obligations at the store. i started reading that numerology reading for me and it was kind of inspiring and kind of wearisome at the same time. but, i am okay with it. i just have to go with what life has been throwing me. i've been doing that my whole life. i need to get out soon or i'm going to burst!
living part two...
i just had my vacation a few weeks ago and i loved it. of course, it didnt go smoothly all the way. however, i still had a lot of fun in the sun! hahahaha.... we were in Boracay for 4 days and the place is still wonderful! gorgeous beaches, amazing sunsets and wonderful sun! i finally got my tan! yahoo to that! i've always wanted to have a tan again. i don't want to be pale-looking anymore. i'm tired of everyone telling me that i am so light-skinned (although they are telling this in a positive way.) i just wanted a change.
Again, Boracay was great! i'd love to go back there soon. but this time, i would like to go back there with my sis, bros and cousins so it would be more enjoyable.
dreaming....
that i am in Singapore now (which i will be in july this year), talking with one of my best friends, who relocated there a few months ago, chatting away and having a blast. laughing till our stomaches hurt, sipping some drink (coffee or something cold), doing some sight-seeing, shopping and eating and eating and eating! hahahaha.... (nah! have to watch what i am eating now).
*sigh*
i am a bit frustrated today. i think its because of my being moody lately. i'm kind of getting restless again. i want to get out. i feel so confined. i feel like all eyes are on me (even though this is not true!). i think i'm a bit pressured now. or i'm just getting tired with what seems like routine for me already. i cant talk to our customers easily lately because i'm afraid of what i might say. i'm kind of getting sarcastic again. i take offense to even small things that are being said. although, i am still trying to be calm and collected. i have to because i might hurt someone or our store if i don't do that. i might react in a big way to petty frustrations and that's no good.
i want to do different things already but i am tied down to my obligations at the store. i started reading that numerology reading for me and it was kind of inspiring and kind of wearisome at the same time. but, i am okay with it. i just have to go with what life has been throwing me. i've been doing that my whole life. i need to get out soon or i'm going to burst!
living part two...
i just had my vacation a few weeks ago and i loved it. of course, it didnt go smoothly all the way. however, i still had a lot of fun in the sun! hahahaha.... we were in Boracay for 4 days and the place is still wonderful! gorgeous beaches, amazing sunsets and wonderful sun! i finally got my tan! yahoo to that! i've always wanted to have a tan again. i don't want to be pale-looking anymore. i'm tired of everyone telling me that i am so light-skinned (although they are telling this in a positive way.) i just wanted a change.
Again, Boracay was great! i'd love to go back there soon. but this time, i would like to go back there with my sis, bros and cousins so it would be more enjoyable.
dreaming....
that i am in Singapore now (which i will be in july this year), talking with one of my best friends, who relocated there a few months ago, chatting away and having a blast. laughing till our stomaches hurt, sipping some drink (coffee or something cold), doing some sight-seeing, shopping and eating and eating and eating! hahahaha.... (nah! have to watch what i am eating now).
*sigh*
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