direction

i am lacking in direction right now. i'm a bit lost. i've lost my passion. i just want to go to a secluded place, surrounded by nature, and just.... meditate? nah, maybe, just let my mind wonder around for awhile. maybe by wo(a)ndering around, i'll be able to find something. i cant seem to find any meaning to what i have been doing lately. actually, i know what i am doing and why i am doing those things. i just lost my passion. my mind is muddled. i am mentally-, emotionally-, and physically-drained. its hard for me to get up in the morning. everything just seems so hard to do. i want to get away... away from everything right now.

i look horrible... i feel horrible! and i'm bringing it to our store. i think my staff feels it too. i don't want them to feel it, but its there. i just cant help it.

i know i should be feeling wonderful because there have been a lot of blessings coming in. i just don't know why i am feeling like this. i'm in a rut.

hopefully, our trip to bangkok will help me. change of environment, change of ambiance.... just simply a change from my routine.

could my meds be affecting my moods? i think so. i need to flush them out of my system immediately. i need a change. i need to change soon or i'll go insane!

business is business....

giving trust in business is sometimes hard to do. you think that you have formed an alliance, or at least, a friendship with a co-business owner, and then they stab you in the back. in the end, their true colors will appear and its all upto how you will be able to cope up with their betrayal. their friendship with you is just a facade, a means to get the information they need for their own business. i thought this person was different. unfortunately, she's just one of them. full trust could not be given to her. she'll ask for your trust, and i gave it to her. we had an agreement, but that agreement only lasted for two months on her part. i guess, when greediness comes in, trust is just shoved into a corner.

business is business still for her.... no friendship and trust required. only backstabbing and greediness are needed.